My mom told my daughter the truth about Santa Claus

I’ve been thinking about writing this story for quite some time. I don’t want to look like an overreacting parent, but I think there are topics which should be handled with care and consideration, especially if it’s about the belief system of a young child. So here’s my story.

Background

I live in Hungary and our way of celebrating Christmas is slightly different from Anglo-Saxon traditions. Santa Claus comes on 6th December – this is the official St. Nicholas Day – and at Christmas, it’s the baby Jesus who brings the presents. Santa brings small toys and candy, and the baby Jesus comes on Christmas Eve, sometime in the afternoon.

When my daughter was born, her father and I decided to keep Santa Claus Day as it is traditionally, but open the Christmas presents on Christmas Day, in the morning. The reason is technical. I wanted to create magic, and instead of the baby Jesus story, we told our daughter that God’s angels go from house to house at night and leave presents under people’s Christmas trees, so I had an entire night to place the presents under our tree, and she never questioned it. To add more to the magic, I always left a tiny present on my daughter’s bedside table, and oh, boy, the excitement on her face every Christmas morning when she ran to me with that tiny present in her hands… it’s indescribable! Just imagine being a kid and having angels in your bedroom at night.

This is how it went for 7 years. When my daughter was in first grade, my now ex-husband and I decided to keep the magic alive for one more year and in grade 2, we would tell her the truth. Tactfully, at her level, talking about the stories behind the celebrations, but the truth would be told.

So my daughter was 7, she was in first grade, and one June afternoon, I went to pick her up from school. We were walking to the car park when she said, ‘Grandma said that there was no Santa Claus, no baby Jesus, no angels, no Easter bunny and no Tooth Fairy, and it was you who did all this’. Grandma told the truth. No sugarcoating, no background stories, no nothing, just the truth – dropped at my seven-year-old like a bomb. I sat down with her on a nearby bench and, while trying to keep my cool, I said, ‘Well, Grandma was right. However, I don’t agree with the way she told you because there’s a lot more behind these celebrations. Do you have any thoughts or feelings you want to share with me or any questions you might want to ask?’ After a few seconds of thinking, she said, ‘You know, I don’t really believe there are no angels, because if it was you who put the presents under the tree, it means that you had to wake up at night every Christmas Eve when other people sleep and relax’, and I replied, ‘Well, that’s right. I woke up at night every Christmas to put the presents under the tree’. At this point, I was expecting her to be disappointed or have even more questions, but what she said left me speechless. ‘You really woke up at night to put the presents under the tree? Oh, Mom! You’re the best mom in the world!’ and gave me a huge hug.

When we got home, I phoned my mother and told her that this was a topic I should have discussed with my daughter, as I am her mother. I also expressed my disagreement with her style and that she could have caused my daughter emotional injury. Her reply? ‘You have kept her stupid long enough. Someone had to do something about it’.

What do you think? Should kids believe in Santa Claus? When is the right time to tell them the truth and how? Do you think there are topics which parents should discuss with their kids first?